PAYING IT FORWARD FOR THE ELDERLY

 

Grandma has a reason why she doesn’t want to go to the nursing home.

She doesn’t even want to move to a retirement community where she could have some fun while she is still able; because when she gets to the point where she can no longer do for herself, THEY WILL put her in a nursing home.

As a caregiver for many years I have been in and out of nursing homes and can see why.

When a new prospect comes in; these homes try and put the best face on it, but there are inherent problems there.

When I was 16 my first job was washing dishes in a nursing home in Oxnard, California. Mrs. Kindred was a sweet old lady who liked to sit in her wheelchair near a sunny window and read the newspaper. I was visiting with her one day just after my shift; and was just about to leave. She grabbed my arm;

“Don’t leave yet.” she pleaded; while watching a tall man in sneakers walking the hall laughing to himself.

This man had obviously lost his mind, but could walk; and Mrs. Kindred wasn’t ambulatory. “He tries to rape me sometimes.” she shuddered. It was at that moment that I realized another reason these places have a bad reputation. They house people who have lost their mind, but can move their bodies, alongside others who; like Mrs. Kindred, had lost use of her body, yet kept her mind. A nightmare.

Not only that. Nursing homes seem to be divided up by class, although nursing homes that I have seen are still pits with better or worse window dressing or food.

Over there near the Country Club, in McAlester, the furnishings and the food is better, but close to me, I had an elderly home care client with May’s Home Health; that had cancer and spent his last month in the nursing home on the poor side of town.

I met him in his room around 5pm, and soon, his dinner arrived. An omelet with a salad and a dinner roll. “Sometimes it’s fun to eat breakfast for dinner.” I told him. “We have been having a lot of eggs around here.” he shared while poking his eggs. “What did you have for lunch?” I asked. “Egg salad sandwiches.”

He couldn’t remember breakfast; so I excused myself and went to the kitchen. I asked an aide what was served for breakfast on this day. She went to look at a paper on the bulletin board on the side wall of the kitchen; “Scrambled eggs.”

I asked; “What kind of place fixes eggs three meals a day?”

The young aide smiled politely; “Oh, we don’t make it. It comes from the prison up the road.”

I just kind of stood there. I must have had a blank look on my face. “It’s just up the road. Haven’t you seen it yet?”

Valle Verde on the other hand; is a three stage senior living community in Santa Barbara California.

Residents get their own unit; with livingroom, kitchenette, bathroom and bedroom. They eat in a beautiful dining hall, on linen tablecloths; more like a nice restaurant, with a server and a menu. Residents show up for meals, and can order anything on the menu. If they don’t wish to eat three times in a day, eat out or in their room, they save up points to host free guests like outside friends or family to the restaurant.

There are many more amenities at this senior living community in the Hidden Valley area of Santa Barbara; where the salad dressing comes from. A pool, jacuzzi, a chapel and a thrift store of donated things from people who have “moved” (passed), and so many scheduled activities to keep the residents lives active, busy and engaged.

As you need more care; or your situation changes; you receive a second level of care. Then at the end, you go to an on site care center, for end of life care.

Business is booming at Valle Verde. Once in; you can never be kicked out, even if you run out of money. It is very expensive.

The US Government would do well; if they teamed up with Disney to run senior living resorts. Facilities could be set in a park like environment. Signing a reverse mortgage to the Government, could pay for such communities. Those who sign off on a million dollar estate, could help pay it forward for other less fortunate citizens to get the level of care they deserve. Having such places as this for all of our elderly citizens, would be like having a slice of Heaven, before ever setting foot there.

Cover photo by me. Valle Verde resident.

Valle Verde Website:

http://www.valleverde.org/

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